Wednesday 4 October 2017

OATLANDER – Why I can never write a book straight


It happened again.  One little letter got switched around, and those little writer demons in my head let loose.


It started with a quote from an industry reviewer, regarding my time travel series starting with Rowena Through the Wall.  I was trying to quote:  “OUTLANDER meets SEX AND THE CITY.”


Nice way to describe Rowena et al.  I’m very grateful to him.  But of course, I messed up the spelling of Outlander.



So here’s a sneak preview of my next book:


OATLANDER


Claire (okay, lets change that to Flaire) falls through time and lands in virtually the same country she did in that other book.  The country that thinks using animal bladders for instruments is a really neat idea.


“What the heck,” says Flaire, looking around at all the sheep.  “This isn’t Kansas.”


“Ach no,” says ruggedly handsome and unmarried oat farmer, who might possibly be named Jamie (okay, let’s change that to –heck, nothing rhymes.  Tamie?  Bamie?  Okay, Balmy.  “And why are you wearing just your slip, lass?”


Flaire (looking down): “Blast. So’s I am.  Well, fuck a duck.”


Balmy:  “Canna no dae that, lass. Only sheep here.”


<We travel further along in the story, to the battle of Culloden, where Balmy and the local rebels exchange words.>


Leader of Rebels:  “Today will go down in history, lads!  Grab yer spikes and pitch forks!  We go to spill English blood!”


Blamy: “Not on me oat field, ye don’t.”


“SCOTLAND! SCOTLAND! SCOTLAND!”  Rebels charge.


Flaire, watching everyone trip over sheep.  “This isn’t going to end well.”


Balmy:  “Back to Kansas, Lass?”


Flaire:  “Sure.  No oats though. We’d have to call this…Cornlander.


Balmy <scratching chin>:  “But that would be-“


Flaire:  “Corny?” 

(with apologies to all people everywhere.)

6 comments:

  1. :P
    And that's all I have to say about that. :D

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  2. You shouldn't let me out on a keyboard on my own, Ali.

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  3. Hahaha! Thank goodness I didn't have any beverages near the keyboard. Can't wait for Cornlander, the sequel!

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  4. Anne, I am now picturing Camilla in Chanel in the field, texting Plant. Oh wait - Plant! In a corn field. Okay, I'll stop now.

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  5. Yeah, and then she typed Blamy instead of Balmy. "Not on me oat field, ye don't." Yep, Blamy.

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  6. Janet, you've added a new dimension. OATLANDER: The Sequel. Will it sell?

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